The American Legion

I was speaking earlier with a work friend of mine; a kind, caring man who served in Vietnam and is now suffering from various types of cancer.  Although his condition angers me and I wish there were more I could do to help him, I was very pleased that he had received a membership request from the American Legion.  He has decided to join and some of the benefits include savings on medications, optical, dental, and general healthcare, as well as a good support system and recognition for his service.  I decided to purchase a membership for my husband as well (my husband joined the Marines in 2001 and served until 2006).  I feel very grateful that the American Legion exists and only wish that my friend and my husband had received a request to join sooner.  These sorts of benefits and support systems are so crucial to our veterans; it means a lot that they are available.

Seek to understand, not to be understood

I was thinking today about these words and it occurred to me that, although I seek to understand most of the time, when I feel that my personal beliefs or values are threatened (at the most critical moments) I tend to focus more on the fact that I'm being "misunderstood." Don't we all do this?  Everything is fine until a conflict; a difference of opinion arises and then we mistrust the "other;" that which is different.  We fear what we don't understand, especially when our own values and beliefs are challenged.  It seems to me that, in these critical moments, we should seek to be open-minded and to understand more than at any other time.

Growing up, I was often considered to be "too intense;" people would say that I unnerved them with my close observance of their behavior.  I was always on the outside, watching and learning, seeking to understand.  When I noticed that someone behaved or thought differently than I expected, I was fascinated and sought to learn more and more about the person or the behavior.  However, if a conflict or self-directed criticism arose, I was unwilling to understand.

There are times when differences can be observed and accepted, but we will never completely understand the "other."  After all, we're all different, and we can't be anyone but who we are. So many problems arise in our personal lives or in society when we try to make others think like us or consciously (or subconsciously) believe that others are extensions of ourselves.  Many of the problems our country faces seem to be based on an inability to accept the differences of others and believe that you can be your own person: have your own beliefs and values without being threatened by the beliefs and attitudes of others.

We will always continue to struggle with this; it is simply human nature. However, I believe that self-awareness of this difficulty understanding and accepting is the first step towards making a difference.